i was born a porn star she said
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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