Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need a beard to bite.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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