he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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