There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
