Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
