Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
