Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
