Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
