We're facebook friends in real life
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
