I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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