she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
