just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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