u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
