so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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