when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ok first of all what the fuck
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
