"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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