so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
