I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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