she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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