Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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