Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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