he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
