i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
