It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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