I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize