just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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