All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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