Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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