fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
