no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
