Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Boobs speak an international language.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am one with the molecules
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
