I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
