If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we're making bets on your personal life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
