Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
