the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
