Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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