Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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