Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
