Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize