Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
