No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
