Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
