Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
