I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
