That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
