Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
