You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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