She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
