we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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