stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
