Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize